Parenting.

In the Indian society where a woman is judged by her age, It would have been a difficult thing, but thank God for countries like US for influencing us, we are changing.
(Years ago, at the age of 22, I heard a friend say that a woman's life and career begin at 30, after she has kids, and goes back to work after a break.I remember being puzzled and angry back then, but my life and that of many others has exactly turned out to be the same.
Now I am a struggling freelancer, and many friends call themselves struggling mothers who are yet to learn how not to bother about the kid when at work.But who cares, we still are as enthuastic as a 16 year old, and its gonna be forever!)

Help from the sky.

Its not God I am taking about.
Actual sky?Really, you might wonder, but it's a definite stress buster.

Do you remember the meals in childhood, when mom showed us the moon as we refuse to eat?
Even today it is a good way to deal with kids who are fussy eaters.

Recently I  read about Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev's advice about how one can harness positive energy from the skies. I am unsure about the spiritual side of it, but surely vouch for my own experience with Sky watching.

I remember reading from B.V.Pattabhiram's book for students that looking at skies is an exercise which relaxes you, and that is why all the sportspersons look at the skies when tired, or when they win.

Think about the sky, now.

The vast sky streched endlessly..another world altogether.
Summer nights, look at the constellations, the occasional comet or satellite passing by..

Sky represent the darkness and light of human life. At twilight, what a sight...it's neither dark nor bright.

Sky is the most universal resource available freely to all for viewing without any discrimination.
Wherever and whenever, we can just stare out into the skies, regardless what is happening around us.

When was the last time you went to the terrace? and spent atleast twenty minutes staring at the skies..?

It surely clears our mind of stress.The scientific truth behind this feeling - all our thoughts stop for a while as we stare at the sky.
A sure way to relax, try it.

Along with the countless gadgets we use, a telescope would be a great investment. One of the best moments of my life were when I looked at the craters on moon with a telescope.
Try to look at the moon just like we did in childhood.
Everytime its a feeling of awe and wonder.
I feel there is nothing to worry as long as we all get to see the countless stars, moon and some beautiful planets above us..I am unable to express more, please check it out yourselves and do share your thoughts in the comments box below:-)

Subsidy

I shall not give up my subsidy as I belong to a caste which doesnot get plots, free education , support , medicines, job and many other things unless I struggle a lot. Even if I rot in poverty the government will not care, as I am not a part of that precious vote bank.Kindly don't try to rob me of some few hundred rupees of subsidy.My forefathers have already given up so many things so that you guys make the poor voters happy.We got inferior seats in colleges, paid for it so that privilaged poor student who was actually richer than me has your support. Private sector is the only place where I could grow according to my talent, someone tried to get those reserved for the rich poor. We struggle all life to pay home loan EMIs but the poor will be given this at minimum price.Ask the already privileged ones to give up free stuff.I am all for supporting the poor but that should benefit all the poor whatever community they belong to.I am already the scapegoat of votebank politics .Enough of sacrifices.

Couples(Married and unmarried) growing apart.

I am writing this at the risk of being called a shallow, materialistic woman.

Some time ago an influential person went through divorce. When asked for reason, his wife stated "We were growing apart". As a woman who always has access to gossip and gal talk, I could figure out some reasons.

1.Change in appearance.

Need not look like a superstar everyday, but strangely after some days of being so close, a phase comes where the physical appearance of the partner doesn't appeal to the other. People tend to become careless due to the rest of the reasons below, lack of time, or some kind of stress. If one points it out, in many cases leads to fights.(Parenthood is completely excluded from this, I spent a year in nighties:-))

The simple solution is to maintain a basic principle .Edit your wardrobe, find suitable colours, ask your partner to help (He/she  will gladly do it). It just takes one weekend or can devote minimum time available over a period. Get rid of the old stuff. It builds negative energy, spiritual gurus say.

Develop some new hobbies and a fitness routine. Surely helps.

2.Change in goals..

An simple person suddenly turns ambitious, a homemaker wants to pursue career ,a guy has creative pursuits, (or worse, a bad habit creeps into a couple's life.Better nip it in the bud)

The damage depends on how much of this change can the other person take. Some gladly accept it, some resent it. 

Balance and respect help a lot in resolving this conflict.

3.Change in career and places.

The quest for a better job leads to change in location. It is always a challenge to adjust. Differences in maids, schools, doctors, homes, and expenses take a while to adjust.(Ask me about it:-))

If we look at the positives, we can see that difference of culture is so beautiful. Again the amicability depends on the partner's work place. It is painful to change a job only because your spouse is relocating.

4.Arrival of kid:

 Ha! Along with joys of parenthood comes a lot of responsibility and stress. Irregular timings, financial and other responsibilities, all contribute to differences among couples

Even men are prone to post partum depression, studies reveal. It's just not funny.

Talking to other parents surely broadens one's perspective.

5. Depressed spouse: 

It is the worst situation where an already stressed out partner causes undue stress to others. Anger, silly fights and criticism to the level of harassment .It is unacceptable. The other person will choose to be at a distance. Go for help before situation worsens.  

All of these are not very easy but still within our reach to solve. We need time and effort to understand that the other person has problems with only some aspects of our life/personality, not with our entire being. It is silly to hate a person coz he or she looks bad, or doesn't support our goals. 

Why make an effort in all these material aspects when love is uncondiitional?

Coz dear, love is unconditional, but comes with a clause.(Just like other things in life)

We fight with parents, friends, relatives , but we never leave them, similarly with spouse, time and understanding solves every issue.

Disclaimer :- These are simple solutions. If problems persist better to go for counselling sessions.

The article is a general writeup , not pointing out at any one in particular.

Women and Power denied.

Years ago in my teens I remember reading an article called "Vidura Neethi" where it was written that "Women should be away from Politics and positions".
I am not at all sure if he really meant that or the words were someone's imagination, fiction, I don't know. Keeping all emotions in control, I have the following to say.
Power is not a piece of cake people hand over to us. It is a right every woman deserves.
It is already with her if given or not, or she knows or not.
I happened to catch a glimpse of Tamilnadu's CM Ms.Jayalalithaa the other day.I am so lucky to live near by.
I remember being celeb crazy for that moment. So successful, happy and very caring for the people who trust her. She is the best example of a powerful woman. I am not speaking of any controversy , as they are a part of everyone's life.
For centuries, women through out the world have been assigned the gigantic task of looking after the homes, and used to get belittled about it. Even today the favorite one liner of most men is "what have you been doing all day at home"?
Hope they all realize now why our country is still a "developing" nation. For centuries we lost great "woman" power in various fields, restricting her role to gving birth and cooking.
Have you seen how women from the earlier generations are frustrated? Especially mothers-in-law.
They have been denied power all the way in their life, and when the most awaited victim called "Bahu" comes, it was their turn to "get and use" their power.That was the only powerful duration of their life and the cycle continued... Much to their dismay now, nuclear families are on rise.
Mindsets have changed over the years,ambitious women have succeeded in doing what they want. At the age when they should have been nagging the poor Bahu, they are helping people raise funds for projects. We have proved them all wrong.
I am very sure that earlier men were afraid of being sidelined as women are efficient in whatever they do. They did not know how to handle that.
Now men are happily giving away all their earlier coveted "Head of the family" rights to their women who are balancing homes, careers and hobbies with great efficiency.
I know that despite my being so positive, there are hundreds of women suffering everyday, and nasty comments are being made at every successful woman.We are listening happily coz we know we made someone jealous! (How womanly!)

Emotional food(L)s??!

Hi all,
The recent downfall of a noodles giant has got me thinking. It seems a great ad man from this country is of the opinion that"In India if you show emotion, family, or cricket related stuff in the ads, the product's sales will be skyrocketing.'!
Is it actually our fault to make people think this way about the enormous middle class?Please give it a thought.We are so large in number that most of the multi-billionare families and firms are manufacturers of products which are within our reach. But does it mean that they sell us anything? and show on ads like it brings"Happiness" and we run for it!!?
I am in favour of good quality products at lesser price and convenience for a woman, but how many of us actually bother to check what if somethings wrong with this?
People in my neighbourhood gave me"you are low class" looks when I said long ago that I do not give my kid noodles every week..its very rare at my home. As we all learnt our lesson the very big shocking way which is taking more than two weeks to digest, let us all be careful about what they sell us in the name of emotions and family happiness..Saying "Eat this, and you are a happy family" or "Replace your family dessert with this packed stuff" and "Serve your guests nothing but our aerated drinks" is really overboard.
Hope they will be careful now on about what they are packing..we need healthiest possible food in packets, please don't add emotions to it.

Get rid of the "extras".

Hi,
Hope you are having a great time re-inventing yourselves.Just happened to see the new Etihad Commercial featuring Nicole Kidman. Re-Imagine. What a word!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXlmF3eI9R0
Spent all these days in vacationing and watching some motivational stuff like the movie "Jobs".
Seems Ashton Kutcher charged $700000 for every episode of "Two and a Half Men" seasons 9 and 10,
Most of the people we see around are struggling with bills, loans, and daily routines, how come a select few like the above mentioned ones earn or live an epic life?
Have you ever wondered?
Many expensive car companies do not run ads on TV regularly as the actual very rich buyers never spend hours watching what they do not need.
Focus.
This is the one word which separates the great from the rest. Let's see what is the first step.It is not about doing all is required. It is also about NOT doing certain things.
Till some time ago I spent hours watching crime scene investigation videos, post mortem videos and other scary, useless stuff on Youtube.
Later it dawned on me that I am spending lots of hours on something which may not even be healthy for my mind, and cannot help me get ahead in life.
Robin Sharma says "We live in the era of dramatic distractions, the one who focuses on what is required, wins."
As the Satellite channels are getting richer, many of us are getting poorer in terms of relations with family and friends, and our own talent,by watching 4 hours of news and baseless debates. . I am not against entertainment, everyone needs it in a healthy quantity. But lets check if we are being tricked by these horrible serial producers and news channels to watch nonsense by creating some emotional link? How many crying scenes are real on these Reality shows?
Is someone using our addictive behaviour to get rich? Refusing to eat if a character dies in a stupid saas bahu serial?Leaving kids unattended on roads to watch soaps?
Are we being over informed?
In order to run a 24 hour channel, most of them rely on celeb gossips, fake news, unnecessary sensational stuff, scandals, etc..Some people become irritable after watching this, Blood pressure variations and anxiety are common in people who watch overly emotional stuff on TV. Hey come on, even I love TV, and not saying shut it off, but lets check "how much is too much?" and make sure its not affecting our productivity and relations with REAL people around us.