Unlearning for the unhappy people -1

Once my mentor said "You need to unlearn".I was puzzled at the age of 22 when I heard this.
It was a difficult time, unable to concentrate, or be confident.
I remember not all feeling fresh in my mind.I woke up dull and dragged myself through the day, resulting in lost goals and frustration.
After many years I understood the meaning, I have been unlearning without my knowledge.
It means letting go of today. Not just the sorrows and failures, but also the joys, achievements  and happy moments of the day, and be able to give tomorrow, whatever we have.

Let us see how people become unhappy. I agree there are many who emerge happy even in the worst situation, but my concern is towards those who could not.

It sounds easy with just two paras, but those with difficult pasts understand what I say. Some incidents leave their imprints especially on young minds. Sooner or later, these images, thoughts, and emotions need to be out. It does not vanish when we are busy, instead, along with a packed calender, these feelings drain us.
With low energy it is hard to get what we want. Only frustration is easy.
A number of kids are facing difficulty every day with monetory and family problems in our vast country with teeming billion of population.
We have a fairly good education system which keeps a track of the child's score in various subjects, but do we really care about their emotions? What is the special care taken of a child who is unhappy most of the time? Are the parents being informed and counselled? Is there atleast one counsellor in every school?
We give "personal" tags to family situations which need attention from others. As a result it becomes a lonely battle for the kids.
With time, things get worse, just like garbage piles up in an uncleared bin.
In the next post, I will write about the process of unlearning in detail.

Baffling breaks!

A mom watches her "independent" daughter cook noodles with capsicum and tons of paneer, but only after tasting it, realizes it's her recipe!

A notably healthy mom serves her underweight son ready made soups, as if he got to lose more weight!

If a woman is irritated to find socks for her husband, her stomach may not be clean, her fault!

A cookery show winner serving her malnourished kids noodles out of packet, when she is an expert in cooking.

A couple making out on elevators without the fear of slipping, breaking bones and not being able to makeout forever.

Many actresses promote cosmetic products..Can you believe that these celebs actually use hair removing creams every week like a budget limited college gal? And those cheap shampoos which aggrevate my dandruff to the next level?Really? Rofl!

That toilet cleaner ad, whose timing directly co-incides with my meals.Agree?

Hilarious are the ad-makers, who think anything seasoned with emotions, cricket and cinema will make the middle-class people form a beeline to get the product from a nearest store!

And here is icing on the cake.All these television shopping channels deserve Kela awards for their acting on how a home maker can utilize her romantic skills by using a roti maker.

A pendant can change your life from a loser to a celeb, you can grow taller at 30, can lose weight in a jiffy with some herbal tea, without moving our behinds from the couch.

Some duplicate of Chavanprash can help one seduce more than one partner.A naughty sofa can replace all the furniture, some trashy green herbal solution when applied on face can make your every inch fairer!!Wow..Wonderful..please order it right away and give all credit card details like a fool to their call centre guys!!Surprise gifts are waiting for you!! 

Never miss the enthusiasm of these shopping guides, or some girl with ample cleavage display recommending a memory boosting product (yes, brain), and a famished guy with a girl painfully explaining how you will lose everything if you dont purchase that low quality mobile with ten thousand features being given away "almost free", combined with some unnecessary gifts only for 4999 bucks!

Purchase right away!Limited stocks, whenever you switch on the TV!

These ads may not kill me, but do cause stomach ache as I laugh uncontrollably imagining what happens if I use them! Wanna try?!!


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The secrets of multitasking without stress.2.

3.Understand that you can do it.
The human brain is a machine which can do anything which the mind says through thoughts. We all know how wonderful things are done by many in this lovely competitive world.

4.Invest less in emotions.
Kindly don't be emotional beyond a limit. Emotions can drain the brain quickly. Hopes and ambitions need to be realistic.No harm in aiming for the stars, but your ladder should be strong enough.

5.Focus and be happy.
Actress Bipasha Basu once said "I don't think beyond the work I am doing at the moment.".
Be happy while doing a task.That happiness is the secret of life.
It gives energy and enthusiasm to go for the next task.

6.Its there, just unearth it.
Many of our talents, unless it is an entirely new aspect, is already existing in our subconscious mind.We might have painted, sung, or made profit selling stuff while still studying. If not, we can always use the web for information.

7.Know why multitasking is important.
Once we know the importance of a certain attribute, it's easier to cultivate it.
Multitasking is not rocket science. You can see your mom for example, milk on the stove, dressing you up for school, while telling your dad where his socks are kept.
A homemaker is an epitome of multitasking. But it is usually women who have a low confidence about this in towns with people saying"Tu nahi karpaayegi yeh sab, tere bas ki baat nahin.."

By doing more than one task, we are spreading the risk, or having a back up. Regular participation in creative pursuits eases mind off the stress of a routine life.A Cardiologist in Hyderabad plays small roles in Telugu movies, which he calls "a second life. He claims it relaxes him.
Knowingly or otherwise, we are all doing so many tasks. By doing more work, we are spreading our wings in different areas of excellence. Its a great feeling to know that our potential is unlimited. We are all born to achieve great things.

7. Let it go.
Do one task regularly from which you do not expect any gain. It brings lots of peace of mind. Our lives have almost no area from which we donot expect anything. Its bliss to do what we like, even if it doesn't mean income.

8.Exercise.
Do a different work out everyday.Yoga, skipping, push-ups, stretches. all promote healthy endorphins in the bosy, keeping us energized.

10.Journal and Planning.
Maintain a journal, where you can check your progress on every task. One of India's top entreprenuers is known to plan his life such that he knows what he will be doing next year on a particular day.

Stay Inspired, Celebrate life!!

The secrets of multitasking without stress.1

Hi all,
Hope you are fine, and I guess many of you are reading this blog while Facebooking, or chatting with friends, or listening to your child make some demand, or trying to answer when the maid is complaining about the new washing machine.
I remember there were super smart people at my school and college who excelled in dance, studies, and drawing, ditto at work place, some completed CA and ICWA while into a full time job.
Here I was, exhausted doing one particular thing.
Multitasking has assumed all the more importance nowadays, leaving people stressed.
Humans are supposed to be able to many things, then why stress? Perhaps we are using our capabilities in a wrong way?
Later, I ignored all these, but dreams, never die. After a baby, when almost all tell us"Your life is over", I wanted a new beginning. I started my research on excellence again. Here are the outcomes.

1.Learn from others.
Chanakya rightly said "A lifetime is not enough to learn from our own mistakes".
The smart way is to learn from others..like reading this blog..:-)..now you have saved five years of researching about life , how to be happy, etc:-) Spend them on yourself, your loved ones, and your career.!I have done all the stuff and happy to share..Surely its the best for all of us to learn from others as none is perfect. We got to look at others for what we don't know.

2.Delegate
Many of us, especially women, tend to take all upon ourselves. We will not be satisfied if someone else does certain things we are used to do.
This is an important aspect. Look at all celebs and our rulers.They do only those things which are most important. All the other work is delegated to others, and just needs occasional checking.
At home, give more tasks to the maid, and complete those pending courses.

Much more in next blog on same topic..

I respect men..Its my choice.

Kindly add "My Choice"in your mind  to every sentence I wrote. I feel the word will be a substitute to "Lame" for some days so I don't want to type it.:-) #Mychoice.

I said No Dowry, and men supported it in matrimonial websites. I respect men.

.

I have many male friends from work and school who are not sexual offenders or lecherous stalkers. I respect men.

I thank every auto driver or a cabbie who drops me safe at home. I respect men.

I stay in a relation even if it has overwhelming moments, stress and strain sometimes. I respect the relation and honour the promises I make. I respect men.

I am inspired by many male achievers. I respect and learn from men.

I avoid spending on myself for my family's needs at home, just like my fellow women and men,.I love my home. 

I knew a baby would mean delay of my ambitions. Still went ahead. I respect life and my partner's love for kids. What was that in the video about it? More than an option or will, it's responsibility. Kindly don't go on lame about unborn babies for fame in videos as if you aren't responsible for it. It's not a unilateral decision.

If you were to have sex outside marriage, or can love only temporary, and lust forever, it's your choice, or problem rather, please don't try to anoint all womankind with those precious oils of wisdom, do follow it in your own life. We, the ordinary, not famous though depressed women, may not be loose, though we are strong.

Women's liberation does not require immorality, negligence or insensitivity towards others. I always fight for women's rights but condemn treating men like idiots. That will totally defeat the purpose of gender equality.

As a woman I totally agree that we have suffered shabby treatment for ages, but I never support treating others bad. It's a shame that women are raped in this country, but there are infinite number of men who opposed sick views about us. Men are not demons. They are human, and they will support women in all the way they can, sometimes bend backwards to make us happy. 

For every rapist ,there are 1000's who taught a lesson to eve teasers.

For every dowry killer, there are many men who happily sacrifice their needs to treat wife like  a queen.

There are special privileges for us at work place, policies framed by guys.

I respect men and am very proud of it. Its My Choice.


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Part 2- Comparison -The enemy of happiness

Two beggars were looking at a rich man who had 10 crores worth wealth.He hurled abuses at these beggars and walked away.
One consoled another saying "Just asked God to give both of us ten crores each to make us equal to him. God will soon give us."
The other one laughed loudly. When asked the reason for his happiness, he said "With the 100 rupees I have, I will be richer than him with 1 crore 100 rs"!
That is happiness in his comparison :-)

All of us have learnt about the "Keeping up with the Jones's "Syndrome.
Peer pressure...It's every child's nightmare to be compared to the neighbor's kid who scores more.
Couples' fights start with comparing.
A colleague's promotion leads to sick leave by another aspirant.
From IITs and IIMs to local chai dukaan, comparison exists everywhere.
First we ignore it, slowly, it gets a plush leather sofa in our minds, leaving us restless.

As I mentioned earlier, I was a miserable kid.my family never compared us with any others, but I secretly did,  and belittled myself. I just wanted to make up for all the things I did not have. It made me more sad at the age when I did not have a skill, education or freedom to compete with all.
I slowly came out of that mindset, as a friend said "Every moment you spend on thinking about others, you are taking away from your own life". Back to reality in a sudden break.

Yes, many of us are addicted to comparison, feeling great or bad about it. All we can do is use our minds for our advantage.
Just learn a new aspect from people you compare yourself with. Once focus is shifted to acquiring a new quality, misery subsides.
You will be surprised to see after sometime how you are no longer in that mood to compare yourself or others with anyone in this world.
There will just be learning form the people you envy. Its really wonderful to see great people, telling yourself  "I will soon have his courage" or "I will be fit as her in a month", and doing it.
However competitive this world is, we need to know that we all have a journey of our own called life, all paths are different, but leading to the common goal of being at peace with oneself.
We have been given whatever we need on this journey, provided we plan well and execute those plans.
We have limited options, we cannot change our birth, family, looks, relatives , certain situations etc, none being in our control. But there is no one stopping us from improving ourselves, getting an additional qualification, having more friends, or changing our way of dressing.
God has written the first page of our life, filled some random pages with events, and left many others empty.
Feel free to write whatever you want ,without bothering what others are writing.

The path to happiness.-1 (The truth.)

Hi All,
Its been a really long time.All these days I was getting to hear so many opinions about happiness. From others and myself..
I am speaking only truth about happiness, which comes from my experience of life since the year 2000 as a fifteen year old teenager surrounded by uncertainties of life.
Today I can proudly say i am happy, though did not accumulate any wealth, which I still believe will be mine, soon :-).
"I dont want to be happy, I just want to be great".Priyanka Chopra smartly summed up recently.
That left me pondering.
The truth about happiness.
It will never come to you till you stop chasing it.
Look for it, you will be miserable.
Just give yourself a goal"I will work for my family better", or "I will develop a new hobby or learn new stuff". Happiness comes running to you.
Trust me  .I have been an unhappy child who saw that all her peers were happy. I was always searching for it. I spent many miserable years, lost many opportunities as I was not happy.
Miserable, gloomy, depressed, low, I have seen it all.

 I thought it will be in money, fame, success, love etc..I have tasted some of them, and now I know it has no existence other than what we give it. Its like a baby which has to be brought into existence as an individual from an unknown fetus.

The downside of this Tryst for happiness exists in the form of laziness. I have seen many people(including me) limit themselves saying"I am happy" or "I am unhappy" ignoring some important aspects of life, and repenting later .Please don't let happiness or want for it spoil your future plans.
It will be a great thing if that state of happiness stays forever, but human mind is so complex. It will fill us with regrets as bonus with unhappiness sometimes.
It made me realize that however big or small our goals are, we should never stop working on what we want with excuses of being happy or unhappy.

I have seen very successful people from close. They are happy to travel in a bus as they are in a plane. They are happy and not complaining even working in rural areas with no amenities, though they live in super luxurious homes.
I close it with a conclusion from my experience. The happiest people do not actually have the happiest life. They have just chosen to be happy, no matter what.